Navigating romantic relationships offline can be confusing, but add text messaging, facebook photos, tweets, or gowalla check-ins and you get a complicated mess of communication.
During our SXSWi panel on March 12th, Dr. Corinne Weisgerber, Jenn Deering Davis, Matthew Weber, and I will be presenting a well rounded discussion/debate of the controversial effects of technology in romantic, work, and family relationships.
A quick note: These are solely my opinions and do not represent the entire panel. In fact, we expect several areas of disagreement within the panel discussion, ensuring that all angles are addressed.

Consider the multiples stages of a relationship:
1. Research and Development
You lock eyes and suddenly she begins walking towards you. There’s an awkward exchange of names and basic interests, but when she glances toward her friends 5 minutes later and says she has to go, you are left empty handed. No worry. You know her name. You know what city she lives in. So you grab your iPhone, google her name, and find her on Facebook.
Instant connection.
Later that night, you search through her Facebook photos, read her Twitter feed, and even find an article about her in the local newspaper. By this point, you’ve decided she isn’t your type and the fact that she left without giving you her number, is obviously a positive thing.
This is the type of digging we are now accustomed to. Gone are the days of “blind” dates. After all, a quick profile glance will tell you where he grew up, if he’s religious, and even what his ex looks like.
Establishing a connection no longer depends on face to face interaction. A relationship may begin in person, over the phone, on a dating website, or even in a video game.
2. Labeling
Thanks to Facebook, we now have a way to publicly define our relationships. We know the date, the time, and whether our networks “like” our pairing. Friends of mine have even decided to make the day they went “Facebook public” their official anniversary day.
3. Honeymoon Phase
We’ve all seen it. Kissing photos, loving tweets, “The Two of Us” albums on Flickr. Depending on your feelings towards social networks, this may be a positive or negative sentiment. But, regardless of your opinion, there is no denying that intimacy is evolving.
While this does not apply to every relationship, it is an entirely new form of romantic communication, increasing in frequency on a daily basis. Simply look around a restaurant and you will see couples engaging on their iPhones as they wait for service, a couple laughing as they both check-in on Gowalla, or the unmistakable “aww” as she reads his tweet about “going to dinner with the most beautiful girl I know.” These actions are second nature to many, and pose the question:
“Are we missing opportunities within our romantic relationships as we attempt to please an ambiguous social audience?”
4. Conflict
Understanding technology’s power in your life becomes instantly recognizable at the onset of conflict. We no longer turn to journals or confidantes in times of upset, but instead post public status updates, angry comments, or spiteful photos. Our most personal feelings and struggles are plastered across multiple social networks, whether we initiate it or not.
Research is brimming with examples of suggested etiquette in a break-up or divorce. And yet, even de-friending, un-following, and un-tagging will not erase the emotional pain. Nor will it remove the temptation to search them out at a later time.
If you have a personal experience you’d like to share, please feel free to leave a comment. Or if you disagree with my statements, let me know!
